Editor’s Note: We don’t do April Fool’s jokes on Bungalower because people get mad when they’re tricked and I don’t want to abuse anyone’s trust!
For more than a year, I’ve eagerly campaigned for Bungalower to commit an elaborate April Fool’s joke whereby we briefly change the purview of the site from Orlando’s Bungalow neighborhoods to the Walt Disney World Resort.
To get the joke over the line, I wrote a ton of fake articles including:
- “Hidden Mikey: My Top 10 Places to Stay Overnight at EPCOT and not get caught!”
- “I Waited in Line for Six Hours and all I got was This Totally-Awesome, Limited-Edition Popcorn Bucket.”
- “A Great, Big View-tiful Tomorrow: Finding the best seat on the Carousel of Progress: An Investigative Report.”
Unfortunately, Brendan nixed it. So now here I am, writing about other peoples’ April Fool’s jokes like some grounded child looking out my window to see all the other kids having fun.
Anyway, here are some of Bungalower’s favorite local April Fool’s Jokes for 2023:
Orlando City Sea Cows
I have a confession to make. Before April 1, I had absolutely no idea what the SC in Orlando City SC stood for. Sports Camp? Strong Character? So Cool?
Turns out, none of these were right and the SC actually stands for Sea Cows! To reduce continuing confusion about the initials, Orlando City unveiled a line of Sea Cows-branded merchandise including shirts, kits, and an inflatable pool sea cow.
Cholo Dogs: Ween Jamz 6
Supporting local music is vital for building stronger communities. It fosters creativity, bolsters our first-class concert venues, and finances Orlando Weekly Music Editor Matthew Moyer’s collection of fingerless gloves.
That’s why we wholeheartedly endorse Ween Jamz VI, the latest collection of original music from Franco Furtero, kayfabe “founder” of Cholo Dogs. You can get your copy at any local KMart.
Orlando City Hall Green Dome
As a demonstration of its commitment to sustainability, the City of Orlando announced a bold renovation to the dome atop City Hall.
By next year, the metal cupola will be replaced with the Orlando City Hall Green Dome, a greenhouse – which according to renderings on the city’s Instagram page – will include a community garden and bee apiaries.
Unfortunately, the post did not include an update on City Hall’s long-vacant restaurant space.
Eola Pets: CatGPT™
Right now, there are a lot of questions being asked about the ethics and efficacy of artificial intelligence: Will this create a new paradigm for working professionals? Is AI picking the pocket of artists and creatives? When SkyNet gains sentience, will the metal plate in my knee be a sufficient enough disguise to pass as one of our new robot overlords?
While we’ve been seeking the answers to these important questions, many businesses have already opted to use this technology for a variety of inventive and practical applications.
One such business is Eola Pets (Website), which announced they would be offering a substantial upgrade in cat care technology to their clients: CatGPT™. According to the press release, CatGPT™ will use patented AI technology to ” analyze your cat’s behavior and automatically purchase relevant products and services.”
Eola Pets has never shied from using emerging technologies in the pet care space. Just last year, they announced their similarly revolutionary Drone Dog Walking service.
Roast Beef Ice Cream
We’ve seen a ton of exciting and creative collaborations over the last year, but none have been as sweet or as savory as Roast Beef Ice Cream, a new collaboration between Beefy King and Kelly’s Homemade Ice Cream.
The mix of textures in this to-die-for dish is certainly exciting, but it’s the horseradish that would really make this art.
Fine Dining on Lynx Buses
Many people look down on public transit, believing it to be a resource with limited utility, relevant only to those of us with limited means. But now, foodies and the bourgeoisie can equally enjoy the merits of LYNX, thanks to their new fine dining service.
Lynx has promised the service will offer sophisticated cuisine with impeccable service, but there’s been no specific information regarding the menu.
Neither has there been any indication as to whether an anthropomorphized cat waiter with a comical French mustache compromises food safety guidelines.
Leu Glow
At a time when scientists are creating mammoth meatballs, you would be justifiably anxious at the announcement that Harry P. Leu Gardens (Website) has created a new, bioluminescent plant.
The godless result of “some genetic tinkering” with the DNA of a naturally glowing jellyfish, the Leu Glow is the world’s first, and hopefully last, bioluminescent Camellia hybrid.
Doctors Dirt and Moss, the horticulturists who created this abomination, were not available for comment, likely due to the lengthy recovery period that comes with flying this close to the sun.
However, Leu Gardens spokesperson Poise N’Ivy was eager to admonish their creation, stating, “They were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”
